When you rip out your bathroom and then lose your mind

Sometimes it takes a big moment to fully realize the gravity of your actions. For me it was the moment I was trying to relax in a bath and my six year old decided to come in to take a poop…which quickly turned into her throwing up all over the bathroom.

I’m not saying that ripping out our second bathroom caused this misstep, but it certainly caused this misstep to happen right in front of me.

When my husband and I toured our current home, we knew that our second bathroom was a total gut job. In fact, when we first moved in I refused to even shower in it because it was so gross. But as the weeks turned to months and I gave it many, many deep cleans I started to get used to having an ensuite bathroom.

I suddenly no longer had to share a bathroom with my disgusting children. My toothbrush finally felt safe.

And then, just as I started to get really attached, it was time to rip it out.

The stress began almost immediately. As fun as it was to rip it out, now my house was covered in dust, my bathroom accessories had no place to live and my toothbrush was free game.

And that was only week one.

The perfect way to test your marriage

Do you want to find out if your coupledom is rock solid or if you are simply treading water waiting for the breaking point?

Take a trip to Ikea.

It took taking a trip without my husband to this favourite store of mine for me to realize that every visit to the land of meatballs, textiles, and dreams doesn’t need to end in threats of bodily harm.

Our trip always starts out so promising. We hustle in the morning to make it in time for $1 breakfast, but the moment my other half sets his eyes on the massive crowd waiting for scrambled eggs and sausage links his back starts to go up. After dropping off our kids to pick up the latest virus in playland we wander around the labyrinth of furniture and textiles guaranteed to make you want to upgrade.

My husband usually starts freaking out about five minutes in. The child minding beeper turns this trip into a race against time and the challenge of getting out without draining our savings account.

The trip always reaches its pinnacle in the ‘As Is’ section. The inevitable argument of whether or not we can jimmy said furniture into our vehicle always ends in tears (my husband’s).

Recently my husband thought he would test our relationship inĀ  a fun new way when he decided to bring a used couch home against my wishes.

I should have known something was up when he slipped out quietly post dinner with vague plans. I tried to stop him because he had threatened to come home with a forest green microfiber love seat a friend was giving away.

Fast forward to 9 pm and about -5 degrees. My husband had brought home a monstrosity and now required my help to get it in the house.

First we tried the front door, then the side door, then the garage. By this point I had considered a few ways in which I could murder my husband and make it look like an accident, many of them using the couch. Now if I was to simply walk away from this poor choice I would be considered to be ‘abandoning him’, so instead I stood and ‘helped’ as he struggled to remove all the screws except one from the hinges of our front door. thirty minutes and one freak out later he realized he could simply remove the pins in about five minutes.

The entire time I ‘helped’ by watching him struggle and pretend to hold up the door.

So now we are the proud new owners of a second-hand love seat. It’s actually really nice and is not hunter green at all (my husband is colour-blind) but a nice sage green and goes well with our decor.

Still, we won’t be tempting fate with any trips to Ikea anytime soon.

Why I let my kids skip school

While most employers want you to take the day off if you are physically ill, mental health days aren’t always looked at the same way.

With my kids I often encourage them to go to school with a case of the sniffles or a nagging cough. I use the old, ‘tell your teacher if you are feeling sick and they will call me to get you’ schtick knowing full well that they will forget about wanting to stay home once they are surrounded by their friends and the fun of school.

Yet when it comes to mental health I tend to take a different approach. In my opinion and my personal experience, when your mental health is suffering you are not going to be productive or receptive to learning new information.

While weekends may be the ideal time to recharge your batteries, with birthday parties, errands and three busy little girls I find the weekends busier than ever.

Taking time to reconnect

So when I notice one of my kids needing a little boost, I will usually take a day just for the two of us. This past week I noticed a need in my middle daughter. She had been especially crabby after school and I could just tell she was exhausted. The demands of full-day senior kindergarten coupled with after-school activities and a lingering cough had taken her toll and she needed a break.

So when it came time to get ready for school the next morning I gave her a free pass. One of the things my kids like the best about days off, whether it is the weekend or one of their special ‘bonus days’, is the ability to spend their entire day in their pajamas. Even if we go out I will still let them rock a princess nightgown and mismatched bottoms. After all, they are only kids once.Before I know it they will be embarrassed to be seen with me.

Our day off

Our days off usually follow the same sort of formula. We spend part of the day cleaning up the house and striking items off of my to-do list and then we get to do something fun together.

Our latest adventure consisted of cleaning a new to us couch, getting a happy meal (and a very large coffee) and going on the hunt for an out of season winter jacket.

Some days we spend alone at home snuggling on the couch and watching some terrible shows on Netflix. We spend time cuddling, unwinding, and de-stressing.

We get to spend some much needed one-on-one time together and they are able to face the next day of school energized and refreshed.

Mental health breaks benefit everyone

Taking care of my kid’s mental health is a great reminder to also take time for myself. As much as I am needed to take care of my family, if I am not also taking care of myself everything will fall apart. So, as I sip my wine and soak in the tub I am not wasting away my Friday night, but instead taking a great step towards better mental health.